etiquette, or my new favorite reading material

Recently, at an antiques store, I purchased a copy of Emily Post's (Mrs. Price Post) Etiquette, the New and Enlarged version, published in 1931. I can hear some of you laughing already at the thought of me poring over "The Blue Book of Social Usage," considering my tendency to treat animals like people, trip, awkwardly drop things, and, generally, make a gigantic fool of myself. My parents may have had a similar thought when they enrolled me in Modeling school when I was 13 (But that is a post for another time -- I seem to have misplaced my "portfolio").

Anyway, I would just like to say: this book is delightful. Amusing, yes. Sometimes ridiculous, yes. But I can't tear myself away. And many of the lessons on manners are really quite profound, in a nostalgic sort of way, though I am glad I don't carry a parasol in Abilene winds. The weighty tome, comprising almost 800 pages, and smelling a bit like moss, includes chapters on everything from Introductions, Greetings, Conversation, Cards and Visits, Dinner-Giving, Balls and Dances, Weddings, Funerals, Business and Politics to a very ironic last chapter called "The Growth of Good Taste in America." The word "etiquette" itself, by the way, is French, and it means "Keep off the grass."

So I tried to pick a few of my favorite gems I wanted to share. Thoughts?

"GUEST COURTESY:
Courtesy is especially necessary toward those whose hospitality you accept, and toward those to whom your hospitality is extended. Mrs. Climber, eagerly lunching with Mrs. Greymouse because she knows Mrs. Worldly to be there, and then having eyes and ears so obviously focused on Mrs. Worldly that she never addresses a word or an interested look in Mrs. Greymouse's direction, might as well have a placard "I am an upstart" hung around her neck. It is not only rude, but, from a purely worldly and calculating standpoint, a losing trick."

"HOW TO BREAK AN AWKWARD SILENCE:
Do not snatch at it. Let it go for a little while. Conversation is not a race that must be continued at break-neck pace lest the prize be lost. Far, far worse than the longest, most awkward pause, is the tongue which, without a thought to urge it, rattles ceaselessly."

"HOW A DINNER CAN BE BUNGLED"
This was quite a long section that I won't type here, but I personally think "bungled" is a hilarious word.

"SHOES AND SLIPPERS:
Sport shoes are naturally adapted to the sport for which they are intended. High-heeled slippers do not go with any country clothes, except organdie or muslins or other distinctly feminine "summer" dresses, such as are seen only at weddings, lawn parties, or at watering-places abroad."

"THE PERFECT SECRETARY:
The perfect secretary should forget that she is a human being, and be the most efficient machine that she can possibly make of herself -- in business hours."

I will skip THE COST OF BEING A BRIDESMAID, VULGAR CLOTHES, PRESENTATION AT ROYAL COURT, and FOR WHAT SHE REALLY IS, but I can tell you right now, that they are fascinating.